Her fingers uncurled
like a flower in bloom
as if beckoning
to touch her.
The lines in
were like a sea
and she hummed
that he would be
when you held the cigarette
between your fingers
that were dwindled down with age,
like embers from flame
did you ever imagine
your family sitting in
hospital rooms and church pews,
lingering over your ashes
boxed up like a pack of smokes,
you withered like flowers
with wheelchairs instead of stems.
they tell me
when i was born
you were afraid
you'd break me,
gentle enough for a cig
but not a baby –
they tell me you loved
the way my head fit in
the palm of your hand.
i watched you
on those last few days,
red and yellow tulips
on the shelf
to brighten up the room;
there's nothing like a death
to bring a family together.
your grand daughter
swelters like pavement
under the summer sun
from the smell.
being a bird means flying (i'm afraid of heights)they tell me to be a phoenix
do not want to go up in
i must admit that
i don’t like the heat;
it’s all too much for
me to handle,
you're bugging metwo hands raised
in silent surrender,
a passive repression
of an infantry;
a brooding anger
stirring in her chest
like a nest of hornets.
with every little
she must have swallowed
a cicada because
she could feel her heart
beat so fast
it buzzed out
a humdrum song.
Nightlights1 - Where art thou, Juliet?
Paloma’s fingers rapped against the window of her best friend’s first floor bedroom three times at first, and when no response came, she tapped out a soft little beat.
The curtains parted to reveal a teenage girl, blonde hair fallen uncombed around her rounded baby face. For a moment, the girl squinted at Paloma before prying open the window with her long, piano player fingers.
It squeaked and complained as it slid up against the wood, the glass rattling. She had one of the oldest houses in the neighborhood, and it showed.
She propped the window up with a wooden slab and stuck her head out, only to be greeted with Paloma’s deep voice, “Juliet, my fair Juliet, there art thou,” she reached up for her Juliet’s hand and brought it to her mouth, gently kissing her knuckles.
“That’s not how it goes, Paloma,
white outShe hated the blizzard
In the way that she
Was apt to speak,
tongue rolling over
snowballs down a hill;
it would cause
PapercutsIt is said god took
seven days to create the world;
it took me less than that
to fall in love with you.
I found myself folding
the poems I wrote for you
into origami hearts
in hopes that
when you saw them
you’d think of me.
Somewhere down the line
I must have lost myself
because the only things
I have left to
remember you by
are paper cuts.
burial groundsher stomach is hollow
like an abandoned church
left decades ago
for a greater faith,
a higher calling.
she is still
Notes on Being Mentally Ill and Fully Aware Of It1. she felt guilty for the things she felt
and the times that she couldn’t control it,
hands clasped together
asking god for freedom,
her empty body;
do not pray for salvation,
2. “go outside and do something,”
says her mother,
as if sunlight would burn away all
of her sorrow;
happiness wasn’t so easy as just
passing through an open door.
3. “a butterfly can’t ever see the beauty of
her own wings,”
they tell her.
“thank you,” she says,
“thank you for telling me i’ll never know
On Having a Wolf Over For Teahe smiled with white sharp points, maw gaping wide to gulp black tea. my tongue swept over cracked lips and i swallowed hard, forcing down the knot that was forming in my throat. he saw the apprehension and snapped his gnashing jaws shut, rattling me. bloodstained paws tapped and clicked against the dirt caked tiles of the kitchen floor, his eyes following me as he moved.
the wolf wove circles and circles and circles around me, circles and circles and circles.
i want you to bleed
i set out my finest shining chipped china, the kind with flowers on the edge.
smiling a sunflower smile, i told myself to remember to pick the briars out of my teeth.
I can see right through you,
my fingers shook and clinked spoons against teacups; masochism tasted sweeter with cream and sugar.
End The Hate (Gay Rights Poem)I was walking with my husband,
During the month of May.
His name is Bobby,
And I'm Adam Galloway.
We were holding hands,
We were happy as can be;
And then we met a stranger,
And he said to me:
"Look here at the faggots!
You're ruining my path!
I hate you gay ass fuckers,
Now you'll feel my wrath!"
The man pulled out a gun,
He aimed it at my head;
Bobby jumped in front of me -
Poor Bobby is now dead.
I caught his falling body,
As the stranger ran away.
I lost the love of my life,
All because we're gay.
He risked his life for me,
For Adam Galloway.
His name is Bobby G.
He died for being gay...
I was eating with my wife,
We were on a date.
Her name is Sarah,
My name is Deven Kate.
We got kicked out for kissing,
So we approached our car;
And what we both had seen,
Was pretty bizzare.
Our tires had been popped,
Our windows had been smashed,
The back seat was on fire;
So we both had dashed.
We didn't get that far,
When a girl got in our way;
She said to us, "Now burn!
The Road Of Yesterday
The Road Of Yesterday
These closed eyes have wept
Over the pain I've kept
Accepting I'll always be far from perfect
I'm tired- just too tired
A moment of peace is all I desire
Too long have I tried; too long have I endured
I just want to collapse
And let these be my last footsteps
Allow me to go where all tears are sent
I've always been out of breath
But I still continued to tread
And I feared to look in the eyes of death
I'm sore- just so sore
A final sunset is what I selfishly yearn
Too long have I searched; too long have I resided within the eye of the storm
I refuse to ultimately break
I don't want to believe in the flaws of my faith
I won't be swallowed by this void that I have made
As I reach the end of my despair
I realized that life's fractures can be repaired
And when I shed that last tear I let go of my fear
Dear mother, dear father
Dear brother, dear sister
Don't worry, you still have each other
And without me you're all so much stronger
Leave me behind and let me go, I promise the days will get brighter
Dear teachers, dear counselors
Dear therapists, dear doctors
You have my gratitude for what you all did
But I hit rock bottom too many times, and this last one was it
The end of the road again, as if no one could have kept me from a coffin
I was not fit to live life
I failed at everything, every time
I sincerely did my very best, I really tried
I just could no longer stand feeling so powerless inside
I lay wide awake every night
I prayed and prayed and asked "why?"
I was always silently drowning in the tears I cried
I am done with suffering, so this is where I draw the line
This is the end
One with a resentful beginning
It all came crashing down to nothing
It's what's only right, so I know what I'm doing
Dear friends, dear betrayers
Dear relatives, dear des
I'm Fine, Trust me
It's just fine
Just stab me with that knife
I'm just fine
Rip my heart out when I'm alive
All that I see
Is you in my dreams
All that I see
Is that my heart is incomplete
It's just fine
My heart's made of ice
It's just fine
Just make me feel alive
LesbianGod loved the two girls at the end of my street.
Everywhere they went, they went together,
hand-in-hand so they didn't get lost,
laughing at everything and nothing
all at once.
He was so proud of them.
They never stole, they never swore,
they brushed their teeth twice a day
and always said their prayers.
It was a gift, said the townspeople,
that two girls as perfect as they were
were born in the same place.
an even greater gift, said they,
that those two were the best of friends.
Long nights spent giggling in rooms with closed doors
was a good thing, back then.
halfway between their houses
and in the middle of the street,
they realized that they loved each other.
A gaze lingered a moment too long,
a heart beat a little too fast...
They kissed for the first time on a park bench,
hidden from the rest of the world.
God doesn't love them anymore.
SLIPPING Slipping slipping
I almost had it right in my palms
AWAY Away away
My eyes open wide like my lungs
GASPING Gasping gasping
Accumulated back into this world as I awake
PAIN Pain pain
Gathering the moments of the dream before it fades
REAPING Reaping reaping
My desired world is always taken from me
FAITH Faith faith
I never wanted it to be make belief
FEELING Feeling feeling
That unaware sensation is being ripped
BLAME Blame blame
But it's as if I am the one that is torn to shreds
Words To Ash
Words To Ash
My embers burn / A dark fire roars
My suicidal war / A blaze of words
I wrote this for you...
The old me really wanted you to read it
To tell you the truth...
Of how I came to be beyond broken
But I had to keep it
Because I'll never see you again
So my wounds remain hidden
A letter deprived of hate, I forgave us in vain
I'm trying to undo what you have done
Even if its just a placebo effect
This is me trying to “move on”
From this smothering resentment
Confessions turn into infernos
You crushed my faith
A villain disguised as a hero
My lungs starts to shake
The sinner is attending church tomorrow
While this saint is endlessly praying for strength
My soul surges / A red sky clears
My resolve emerges / A cure for tears
I've journeyed through the flames...
The new me knows the reasons for your trespasses
I'm liked at school.
But I'm hated at home.
I am kind, caring and active.
But I am greedy, selfish, and lazy.
I stay quiet most of the time.
But I am loud, screaming for attention.
I stay on everybody's good side.
But I stay on their bad side.
I try to stay good.
But I stay bad.
I smile at everyone.
But I cry alone.
Everyone listens to me.
But no one listens to me.
I am happy most of the time.
But I am depressed most of the time.
I listen to everyone.
But I listen to no one.
I try not to make mistakes
But I make mistakes all the time.
I tell the truth most of the time.
But I tell lies most of the time.
Everyone believes me.
But no one believes me.
I am surrounded by people.
But I am alone.